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Life on two acres of arid dirt, on the edge of the Australian outback.

Thursday, April 8, 2021

the reason for my absence

Hello dear friends,

Apologies for my absence. It was my intention to start the New Year off with a blog post showing all the latest news from around here, but 2021 has not had a good start for our family.

My life has been in turmoil since the beginning of January with my Mum being diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer. As you can imagine this has been a huge shock for our family as it came on so suddenly and without warning. 

I am not sure when I will return to this little space. I simply am not getting the time to write or the motivation to do so.  Between spending time with my parents and trying to keep things going at our place, my life is pretty full right now.

I would love and appreciate if you could say a special prayer for my darling mum, she is so very precious to me.

xTania

51 comments:

  1. My wife had stage four 14 years ago, but we believe it's coming back on her. She isn't going to fight it this time as she has so many OTHER health problems. I've prayed for all involved in your situation. We'll be here.

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    1. Thank you Gorges, this gives me hope. My mother has decided not to go ahead with any more chemotherapy, because it is making her too ill. I dont know how long we will have with her but time now is so precious xxx

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    2. I am so sorry for this. My mum had breast cancer at 74 and was very frail. We as a family decided on not going the Chemo route after her Doctor suggested it might not be the best thing for her. She celebrates her 91st birthday in 7 weeks time, so don't let people make you think you are not doing your best by stopping Chemo. My thoughts are with you
      Lee

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    3. Hi Lee,

      Thank you so much for your comment. We are hopeful to get some quality time with Mum now she has stopped Chemo. Unfortunately Mum's cancer is very aggressive and has spread to several parts of her body including bones. She has a battle ahead of her, but we hold onto hope xxx

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  2. Mums are very special. Sending a special prayer to you and her. I know much of your attention is focused on her but don't forget to take time for yourself.

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    1. Thank you Kay. I must admit that I am struggling to come to terms with a life without my mother. She has been my best friend, my rock and my number one supporter. Life is hard at the moment, and I know I must take care of me too xxx

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  3. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family going through this difficult time. Look after yourself. Kathy xx

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  4. Dear Tania. Our arms are around your shoulders right now.
    We too have lived this reality not too long ago and it is brutal.
    IF nothing else, simplify and rationalise everything you decide to do every day - only do what matters.
    Creating calm (despite the sorrow and shock) is so important for everyone going through this with your mum.
    All our love to you.

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    1. Hi Phil, thank you so much for your kind words and gentle advice, it is very much appreciated. I am taking one day at a time for now xxx

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  5. So sorry to hear that. It's time to spend time with mum and family.

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    1. It sure is. Our family has become very close, we need to support each other through this trial and spend as much time creating memories as we can xxx

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  6. Hello dearest Tania,
    It was only yesterday that I popped on over to your blog to see if you had posted anything, I did wonder if you and your family was okay. I’m so very sorry to hear of your Mums illness and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
    Kindest thoughts
    Fiona

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    1. Hi Fiona,

      I had tried to write a post earlier but the words wouldn't come out right. Then last night I sat at the computer and thought I am just going to write a simple explanation to let everyone know why I have been MIA. I have never experienced so many emotions like I have in the past few months. Sadly there are many more to come.

      Thank you for your kind words,
      xTania

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  7. I’m so sorry for the horrible diagnosis
    Take care of one another and take care of you
    Big hugs to you all

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    1. Thank you Angela, sadly a long road ahead for us xxx

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  8. So very very sorry to read this Tania & Yes, I had been wondering about your absence. Do only what is necessary for YOU & your dear Mum Tania - we will all still be waiting here for you when you return. Sending love, thoughts & prayers your way Tania. xx

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers Julie. I felt the need to let everyone know here on the blog so Mum can have some prayers and well wishes sent her way. She is a strong believer in her Lord xxx

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  9. I feel for you Tania, and will add you and your Mum to my daily prayer list. I wish you strength, comfort, and courage through this challenging time, and hope that all our messages of support help in some way.

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    1. Thank you so much Wendy. I have felt so alone and helpless these past few months, so putting out a post for prayers for Mum was all I could think of to do. I feel they will really help xxx

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  10. family is always first, above all else
    so sorry for the horrible diagnosis of your mum, will keep you in my heart & hope that she will feel better soon xxx
    thanx for sharing

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  11. Dear Tania, So sorry to hear your news. You and your family are in my thoughts. Jo

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    1. Thank you Jo, my life feels like it is on hold at the moment. Spending time with mum, dad and family are my number one priority xxx

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  12. So Sorry To Hear This Tania x
    Of Course I Will Pray For Your Mother x

    Thinking Of You All x

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  13. Oh, how sad. I was just wondering about you, Tania. I will say a prayer for you and your mum. I am glad you are spending time with them, and understand how you feel about the blogging. Take care of yourself.

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    1. I am heart-broken Stephenie, thank you for your kindness xxx

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  14. I hope you are feeling the love from your readers. Take time to walk the dog and clear your mind each day as best you can. And let those tears flow or they block you up and bowl you over later in a worse way. Much love to your entire family xxx

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  15. I have missed your posts. And yes, I am and will pray for your mom. Take care of them and yourself and know we'll be here when (if) you feel ready to post again. *hug*

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  16. Everyone understand Tania, your focus is in the right place - family is most important. So sad to hear what your mum is going through. She has a special loving daughter in you. I'm praying right now for your mum and family xoxo ~ Linda

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    1. Your kindness is very much appreciated Linda xxx

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  17. Praying for you and your mum. This is such a special and difficult time for you all. May you feel love and know peace.

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  18. Bluey and I are sending you and your family as much positivity as we possibly can. Much love to you all.

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    1. Thank you Jane and Bluey, it is very emotional time xxx

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  19. Oh, dear Tania, I am sending your Mum and you and your whole family many loving wishes. This is a precious time to spend with your mum and to care for one another. Everything else can wait.
    Much love to you,
    MegXx

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    1. Thank you so much Meg. It has been such a difficult time for us all. Mums cancer is aggressive and sadly is taking hold of her tiny body. Love Tania xxx

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  20. I will remember to keep you all in my prayers and I hope and pray you will feel held xx

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    1. Thank you very much Joanna, so very kind of you. Since I wrote this post Mum has improved quite a bit so that is very encouraging. The power of prayer always amazes me xxx

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  21. Dear Tania
    I am so very sorry to hear of your Mums’ illness. It is the hardest of times watching our Mums’deteriorate. My most precious Mum passed away 18 months ago, so I know what you are going through. It seems surreal and I found taking it day by day helped me greatly.
    It’s like you are in a bubble. All you can do is spend as much time as possible with your beloved Mum Tania.
    I will certainly pray for your Mum, you and your family. Take care lovely lady, Lorraine

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    1. Thank you Lorraine, your words have really helped. You described my life as it is at the moment perfectly, it is exactly as you say. Sorry to hear you lost your mum recently, hope you are coping okay.

      It has been hard to spend a lot of time with mum as she has been so unwell.

      Thank you for your prayers,
      xTania

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  22. Dear Tania,
    I’m so terribly sorry to hear about your Mums illness.
    It is so bittersweet as you spend as much time as you can with your precious Mum.
    My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you and your family and most specially your Mum.
    With my very best wishes,
    Lorraine W

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  23. I've only just read this Tania, and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I had a friend in the same boat as your mum, and she found solace in eating anti-inflammatory foods, and doing the things she loved (gardening) with more emphasis on enjoyment, rather than hard labour. It was about finding her own way, in the gruelling treatment and side-effects afterwards. She taught me to respect all cancer patients decisions, even if you don't agree with them. Because it's about getting through for them, in whatever way they can express themselves. There are good days and bad days. Being their support is just enabling them to BE, who they are. On a good day, or a bad one.

    I prayed a lot for my friend, and she survived far longer than the Doctors' estimations. Years longer. But she eventually died due to complications. I won't discuss the details, because going through the treatment phase with your mum, comes with all sorts of concerns. I know my friend said she would frequent the discussion forums for cancer patients, looking for hope. Realising there were so many different outcomes - good and bad, she had to focus on her own journey. Which is what she did. Looking for ways she could heal herself, through meditation, slow movement and healthy food. Even just the battle of the mind. I have so much respect for her, even now. I've been thinking about the lessons of strength and humility she taught me. Of just getting on with it, even when the future seemed so uncertain. She was still making plans for tomorrow, because she believed life still goes on, even when you have cancer.

    So it's okay to make plans, Tania. However small, or uncertain the future seems to be. All we can do, is empower the ones we love with our support. Prayers go to the one who can provide, what we cannot see, we need yet. I will pray that for you, my desert gardening friend. ❤️❤️❤️ After all, you brought life to the desert, simply because you could. Every day has a new possibility we haven't discovered yet. Anything is possible. This is what makes every day, worth waking up for. I pray you have everything you need.

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  24. Hello Chris.

    I am so glad you dropped by my blog today. I love what you have written, it is such sound advice, and I will take it on board to try and help mum {and me} through this sad situation.

    There are a few things that I am trying to help mum with now she has made the decision not to have chemo anymore. The pain is getting really bad, so I will encourage her to eat more anti inflammatory foods. This will be a biggie for her I think. She not eating a lot but I will have talk with her tomorrow and see what she thinks. Her mind is still okay, although she recently had to have a round of radiotherapy for a tumour on her head. She is still feeling the after effects of that at the moment, but the tumour had not entered her brain, thank goodness.

    I am having good and bad days. Today was a good day. I spent the day pottering out in my veggie patch, tidying it up after the summer crops. Up until now all I could do is quickly water to keep things alive but now mum is home from her recent treatment, I have a bit of time to try and catch up. I picked sweet potatoes, rhubarb, capsicums, leeks and dug out the Jerusalem artichokes. Thursday I will pick the beetroot that is ready and pickle it. I added some goodness into the soil of the vacant barrels to let them sit and do their magic until spring. I planted out some more garlic, and potted up a grafted passionfruit into a large pot. Still deciding where I am going to place it. I am not going to worry about planting winter veggies this year...

    I have a new baby grand daughter born last Saturday {8th May}, so she is only a few days old. This little ray of sunshine has brought joy into our lives and she is going to meet my Mum tomorrow, it should be a lovely day for her see the new baby.

    Thank you so much Chris, your kind words have been ever so helpful and just what I needed to hear.

    xTania

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    1. You're most welcome Tania, any way I can be of help. My friend found fruit and vegetable smoothies easier to digest, when her appetite was waning. That's what got her through some of the more challenging times. It was nutrition she could stomach. Anything that is purple, are high in antioxidants too. Good for healing. Your garden sounds amazing and a new baby miracle to hold and (no doubt) share the garden with at some point too. I'm sure your mum will be so happy to meet them. 🥰

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  25. I am just getting back into blogging again, and read this post with an ache in my heart. I just pray that you gather special times with your Mom. Lots of love and blessings for you and your family.

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    1. Thank you so much africanaussie, your thoughts and prayers are very welcome and appreciated. Mum is not doing well at all, she is in hospital again as I write this xxx

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Your comments really make my day. Thank you for taking the time and for being so kind.